Mullberry Whine

poured out before bed

The Laugh Track

Trust me (tee hee).  I’m a (student) doctor.

Everything is funny.

The over (over) the top parents of that new admit?  Snort.  The creepy weird picture on the team room wall?  Snicker.  That ridiculous page from a highly particular nurse (who I love to death, but who could use a little time-out at strategic points of her shift)?  Snickety-snack-snick.  Even that innocent half-empty pizza box and the energy drink cans on the desk get a resounding GUFFAW.

It’s 2:30 in the am and the world has gone from slightly to soggily humorous, the level of “tired” from minimally peaked to like dragging about in wet clothes, and frustrations are suddenly so laughable you just might lose bladder control.

In a rare moment of downtime we sit in one of the hospitalist team rooms, cracking ridiculous jokes.  We seem so clever in our current state, but somewhere in the clear parts of our all-work-and-no-play-not-to-mention-sleep brains we know we’re nonsensical and borderline obnoxious to the outside observer.

The last straw snaps clean in two when a particularly snarky senior resident helps himself to our pizza pie and in a slow motion display of bumbling acrobatics dumps a big yellow goober of garlic butter smack dab in his crotchal region while backing into an empty chair and grinding a pizza slice and a hearty splash of Red-Bull into his fleece.  His undershirt status-post fleece-ectomy has been dyed a fabulous shade of “why did I put my maroon socks in the whites” pink, the axillary sweat pits providing a unique contrast.

“I’m all out of good clean clothes,” he sputters around a wide grin.

Everyone loses it.

There are tears, snorts, and red faces all around, a healthy display of respiratory distress and croupy, barky coughs.

Until all three interns receive nearly simultaneous admission pages.  We retreat to our respective team rooms, serious as can be, but cannot staunch the occasional giggle wink at those quiet, opportune times on passing in the hall.

Oh, only one more night float shift and this giddy, sleepy madness will end.

At least it’s been good for the ol’ cardiovascular system…  Vasodilation relaxation couldn’t hurt a bunch of tight-wad medical trainees one bit.


2 comments on “The Laugh Track

  1. Peace Of Iran
    March 18, 2012

    I love times like these… When you laugh so hard that you can’t breathe and you’re delirious the whole time. It makes the exhaustion worth it in a weird redeeming sort of way.

    • mullberrywhine
      March 19, 2012

      I completely agree. Massive release of laugh endorphins – always, ALWAYS worth it.

Keep it clean, keep it respectful, or keep away.

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This entry was posted on March 17, 2012 by in Finding Humor, Long Nights, On Pediatrics and tagged , , , , , .

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Nothing under the table.
The views expressed on "Mullberry Whine" are NOT intended to diagnose or treat disease.
The med-ed related stories described here are based on real events. Details have been changed in accordance with HIPAA de-identification guidelines to protect confidentiality.
Mullberry Whine can be enjoyed daily; there is no unsafe quantity. Real wine, though, should be enjoyed in moderation. At-Risk Drinking for males under 65 is defined as >14 alcoholic beverages per week or >4/day, with >7 drinks a week or >3/day being the cut-off for females under 65 and for anyone, male or female, who has graced this planet for 65 years for more. Drink Mullberry Whine like there are no consequences. But drink alcohol responsibly. Your friends, your family, your health-care provider, and your liver - heck, ALL of the organs in your body - will thank you.
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