poured out before bed
I DO love a shower in the morning. Near scalding water, a loofah infused with some soft scented goo that promises cleansing, moisture, and subtle fragrancing in one product, a private corner to both voice and act out my personal rendition of Poker Face…an experience to be relished, even at an ungodly early hour. That is, unless, you suddenly realize you are sharing said corner with a little intruder.
And by little, I mean gianormous – about the length my thumb, and nearly the same color – and with more eyes and legs that the average species welcomed into the average human abode. Just as I was reaching for the conditioner, combining the gesture with a bit of sassy hip motion and a head tilt, I noticed something with decidedly more complexity than the dull yellow shower tile, mere inches from my cheek.
The dance I performed when my “that’s a spider” neurons fired was WAY more impressive than the number I’d been doing while lathering. And Mr. Arach-no-shower made the catchy caper into a pas de deux, scampering about in a jaunty pattern in step. I locked both eyes on him – save that second I needed to divert them toward the loofah I planned to launch at this creepy dance partner to effect my escape – but in that instant he was gone, nowhere to be seen.
I began to feel hairy specter legs everywhere on my skin, creating another dance form all its own as I spun around and inspected every inch of my integument. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, through the semi-opaque shower door – movement on the cream tile floor. I leapt from the shower, water pouring down my legs from drenched hair, to chase the creeping peeping tom down.
He was nowhere to be seen, despite frantic – yet ginger – searching.
But I have to hand it to him – if his intention was to get me off to school at record time, his approach was fantastic. That creepy feeling that he could be anywhere, watching me, strategizing, made my dressing, brushing, deodorizing session the fastest and most efficient EVER in my history. So, thanks little Arach-no-time-wasted. You got me to work early and wide awake.