Mullberry Whine

poured out before bed

You Can Call Me Meccy…

...but you shouldn't.

“Why was she that yellow color when she was born?!”

The new mother looks puzzled, stroking her tiny baby’s full, soft hair.  The perfectly pink infant sucks vigorously on her bottle, her tiny eyes pinched shut with effort and delight.

“That was from the meconium.  Your baby had a bowel movement in the womb and it stained the vernix on her skin – the vernix is the name of the waxy protective covering on a newborn.  When the doctors saw that at delivery, they worried that the baby might have breathed the meconium into her lungs where it can cause damage.  That’s why they watched her so closely after she was born – to make sure she didn’t have any breathing problems.  But her lungs have been perfect; she’s done really, really well – well enough to come spend lots of time in the room with you and dad.”

“What did you call that stuff on her?”

“Oh, it’s called meconium.”

Mom is quiet for a moment, thinking.

“That’s really pretty, meconium.  I think that’d make a nice name.”

“Oh…my.  Well, it is kind of a pretty word, I guess…but it’s a fancy name for…poop.”

“Yeah, but it sounds good.  We still haven’t decided what to name her yet…but I really like that word.  Meconium Marie Smith….has kind of a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

NO, I think.

“What are your other top choices?” I ask.

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8 comments on “You Can Call Me Meccy…

  1. Peace Of Iran
    April 17, 2012

    Oh dear… delirious parents should not be allowed to name their children ‘Fecal Matter’

    • mullberrywhine
      April 18, 2012

      No kidding! It took all of my will power not to tell them in no uncertain terms what I really thought of that choice… Luckily, they went for a different, non-feculent name…

  2. shopaholicmd2013
    April 17, 2012

    Um yea we had a parent name a kid that a few months ago… Crazy.

    • mullberrywhine
      April 18, 2012

      Thankfully, our attending made a point to speak with them a couple of times throughout the day and by his sheer and determined will convinced them that a word for baby’s first poo – no matter how fancy or how nicely it seemed to fit with their middle name of choice – was definitely not an appropriate name. Future blow out averted.

  3. livingvoraciously
    April 18, 2012

    This was sooooooo ewwww… what were these parents thinking?? poor poor kid… Thank God that future disaster was averted.

  4. ElizabethWolf
    April 19, 2012

    Is it weird that I just keep writing ‘Oh no’ in response to your posts? It’s honestly what naturally comes out of my mouth when I read some of them.

    • mullberrywhine
      April 19, 2012

      Nah. That’s what goes through my head 50% of time most days… I’m just glad someone else has that gulp gut reaction too!

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House Rules

Creative Commons License
Nothing under the table.
***
The views expressed on "Mullberry Whine" are NOT intended to diagnose or treat disease.
***
The med-ed related stories described here are based on real events. Details have been changed in accordance with HIPAA de-identification guidelines to protect confidentiality.
***
Mullberry Whine can be enjoyed daily; there is no unsafe quantity. Real wine, though, should be enjoyed in moderation. At-Risk Drinking for males under 65 is defined as >14 alcoholic beverages per week or >4/day, with >7 drinks a week or >3/day being the cut-off for females under 65 and for anyone, male or female, who has graced this planet for 65 years for more. Drink Mullberry Whine like there are no consequences. But drink alcohol responsibly. Your friends, your family, your health-care provider, and your liver - heck, ALL of the organs in your body - will thank you.
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