Mullberry Whine

poured out before bed

To Connect

…like true gentlemen…

Like little white-coated ducklings we trail our new attending, staying close so as not to be washed away in the torrents of wheeled health care equipment and rounding medical teams.  He stops in front of a room at the end of the corridor and smiles his winning smile.

“I really want you all to follow me on my bedside rounds today.  People like having me as their doctor in the hospital – I have pretty good bedside manner.  And please feel free to ask questions and practice your physical exam.”

We nod appropriately and wash our hands as he knocks.

The hospital room is dark, an old episode of Home Improvement playing softly on the mounted TV.

“Mr. Jones?  Good morning Mr. Jones, it’s Dr. Smith.”

Dr. Smith sits down at the bedside chair and slowly brings up the exam lights.  A white-capped 90-something lies motionless in bed, his edentulous mouth agape, snoring softly.

“Mr. Jones, good morning.” Dr. Smith rubs the patient’s arm kindly.

Mr. Jones stirs a bit, gives a diminutive snort.

“Mr. Jones, can you open your eyes for me?  It’s Dr. Smith to see how you are doing.”

Our little patient is still a moment longer.  Then, suddenly, his gray eyes fly open and he fixates on the being sitting so close to him.

“Gaahhh-waaaah!” comes a combination cough and cry.  A frail arm flies out at shocking speed, a perfect left hook landing soundly on Dr. Smith’s cheek.

Dr. Smith stands and holds his jaw.

“Well…perhaps my bedside manner isn’t what it usually is today…” he chokes, his laughing eyes wide.

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4 comments on “To Connect

  1. azita
    July 15, 2012

    Hi Mulberry! I wanted to share with you a link to a podcast that I thought you may enjoy on “Art and Medicine”: http://www.studio360.org/2012/may/18/

    • mullberrywhine
      July 15, 2012

      Hiya Azita! And thank you! I so look forward to taking a good listen – will share said listen with Mr. Whine when he gets home and thank you again for sharing!

  2. E.J.
    July 18, 2012

    When I was working with the elderly that would happen all the time to me! I actually had someone stop me in the grocery store and tell me to “leave the bas—d.” I kept working there for another 6 months. I have a soft spot for geriatrics, what can I say? I’m so pleased to hear (read, actually) that he took it in stride!

    • mullberrywhine
      July 19, 2012

      There’s nothing like a good geriatric lad or lass to brighten any day, say I! Mr. Whine is actually a geriatrician to-be, starting his fellowship in that field soon, so the Whine household is soft all over for the elderly. 😉 And the particular Dr. on whom the hook was landed, though just a little stuck on himself, is stuck for good reason – a good sport and a good doc and also quite soft on those old folks – it couldn’t have happened to a better guy!

Keep it clean, keep it respectful, or keep away.

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From the Cellar

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House Rules

Creative Commons License
Nothing under the table.
***
The views expressed on "Mullberry Whine" are NOT intended to diagnose or treat disease.
***
The med-ed related stories described here are based on real events. Details have been changed in accordance with HIPAA de-identification guidelines to protect confidentiality.
***
Mullberry Whine can be enjoyed daily; there is no unsafe quantity. Real wine, though, should be enjoyed in moderation. At-Risk Drinking for males under 65 is defined as >14 alcoholic beverages per week or >4/day, with >7 drinks a week or >3/day being the cut-off for females under 65 and for anyone, male or female, who has graced this planet for 65 years for more. Drink Mullberry Whine like there are no consequences. But drink alcohol responsibly. Your friends, your family, your health-care provider, and your liver - heck, ALL of the organs in your body - will thank you.
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