Mullberry Whine

poured out before bed

Fomite, RN

“Ma’am.  Hey, ma’am. Ma’am!”

I start when I realize the rotund nurse is speaking to me. Ma-am, eh? I’m not used to being addressed as such. Damn. I knew I should have sprung for that wrinkle cream.

The nurse inserts herself between my fine-lined self and the restroom toward which I was headed. (I’m not so old that I’ve developed a need for Depends quite yet.)

“This is a staff-only restroom,” she quips, her jowls vibrating with the inappropriate volume of her voice.

“Oh, I am staff. I’m a med student.” I hold up my name badge, affixed to a beaded lanyard about my neck.

“Oh…well…no one can tell. You really need to wear your white coat.” She is speaking just a bit too loud for the short distance that separates us.

“Wear my white coat — to the bathroom?!”

The nurse’s round face turns red at my borderline incredulous tone. “That’s the only way we know you’re staff,” she says with conjured authority.

“I’m sorry, but I’m not wearing my white coat into the bathroom. That’s not good practice. I’m wearing my hospital issued name badge – that will be sufficient.”

I brush by the chubby, hand-on-hipped bathroom Nazi and lock the door.

As I wash my hands, my business done, I hear a familiar, demonstrative voice from the nurse charting room down the hall.

Those $&@’#%^ medical students walk around like they own the place! They think they’re such hot $&#%! And they act like they make the rules! They have NO common sense, just NONE!”

Sigh. I think I feel a new wrinkle coming on.

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2 comments on “Fomite, RN

  1. Dr K
    June 14, 2012

    Just imagine how many peopleactually go into the bathroom with their white coats bc of her! Oh, and no need for the wrinkle cream. I love you wrinkles and all 🙂

    • mullberrywhine
      June 14, 2012

      Ew, eh? What a peach. And thanks – maybe said wrinkles will make me more distinctive, more learned in appearance, perhaps… 😉

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From the Cellar

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House Rules

Creative Commons License
Nothing under the table.
***
The views expressed on "Mullberry Whine" are NOT intended to diagnose or treat disease.
***
The med-ed related stories described here are based on real events. Details have been changed in accordance with HIPAA de-identification guidelines to protect confidentiality.
***
Mullberry Whine can be enjoyed daily; there is no unsafe quantity. Real wine, though, should be enjoyed in moderation. At-Risk Drinking for males under 65 is defined as >14 alcoholic beverages per week or >4/day, with >7 drinks a week or >3/day being the cut-off for females under 65 and for anyone, male or female, who has graced this planet for 65 years for more. Drink Mullberry Whine like there are no consequences. But drink alcohol responsibly. Your friends, your family, your health-care provider, and your liver - heck, ALL of the organs in your body - will thank you.
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